Some statements on a car insurance form:
I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.
Seen in a Serbian hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
In a Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
Lobby of a Moscow hotel in front of a Russian Orthodox monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and ex Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily, except on Thursday.
Also in Moscow:
If this is your first visit to Russia, you are welcome to it.
Bangkok dry cleaners:
Drop your trousers for best results.
Hong Kong tailor shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
Hong Kong dentist:
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
Norwegian cocktail lounge:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.