The following are actual statements from a small Catholic Elementary school test
The texts have not been retouched or corrected and incorrect spelling has been left in as well.
1 In the first book of the bible, Guinessis. God got tired of creating the world so he took the sabbath off.
2 Lots wife was a pilar of salt during the day, but a ball of fire during the night
3 The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympatathetic genitals
4 The first commandments was when EVE told Adam to eat the apple
5 The seventh commandment is though shalt not admit adultery
6 When the three wise guys from the East side arrived they found Jesus in the manager
7 The greatest miracle in the bible is when Joshhau told his son to stand still and he obeyed him
8 Moses died before he ever reached Canada
9 Christians have only one spouse, This is called monotony
And how about this from some eight graders
Eventually, the Ramons conquered the Geeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long. At Roaman banquets the guests wore garlics in their hair. Julius Ceasar extinguished himself on the battlefield of Gaul. The ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his poor subjects by playing the fiddle to them.
The government of England was a limited mockery. Henty VIII found walking difficult because he had an abbess on his knees. Queen Elizabeth was the Virgen Queen, As a queen she was a success. When Elizabeth exposed herself before her troops they all shouted ¨hurrah¨Then her navy went out and defeated the Spanish Armadillo